How I figured out my son had ADHD - Blog Post

What finally made me realize my child had ADHD?

I did not want to know that my child had ADHD. For the longest time, I sat in denial. I refused to even think that he had ADHD.

No parent wants to think there is something “wrong” with their child. We always want the best for our children. But let’s face it. The world is a harder place for kids and adults with ADHD.

There is a lot more awareness around ADHD nowadays. But even with medication, school is harder for a kiddo with ADHD. Social interactions are harder for a kid with ADHD. Just basic following directions from your parents is harder for a kid with ADHD.

I didn’t want my child to be labeled. I wanted him to be free to be himself. I wanted him to succeed without needing additional help and intervention. I didn’t want to put him on more medication.

People will tell you that ADHD is overdiagnosed. They will judge you. People will treat your child differently if they know he has ADHD.

I did not want to see that he was different.

I would tell people, he’s just a busy boy. He’s a totally normal kid with lots of energy. It’s harder for boys to sit still in school.

Kids aren’t meant to sit still in classrooms. But year after year I’d hear the same things from his teachers. “I put Alex right in the front row of my classroom.”  

“Alex sits right in front of me during circle time.” “Alex spends a lot of time socializing with his peers instead of paying attention during class time.” “Alex struggles to stay on task during school.”

And my son did not want to go to school ever. He’d pretend to be sick. I could barely get him out the door any day for school on time.

He still to this day never tells me about what happened at school. I stopped asking him years ago. I ask him how his day was but rarely about what actually happened at school. He very rarely tells me anything about it.

Now, if you ask him a question about a video game, the art project he’s working on, something he’s building in his mind, or a toy he wants, he can talk about it for hours. I also thought there was no way he had ADHD because he could focus on something that interested him for hours!

He’s been able to build Legos at a much higher age level than what was on the box for years. Basically, since he started building them. And he can keep working on them for hours with no breaks! He can play video games for hours without breaks.

If it’s something he’s interested in doing he will stay focused on it with no problem.

But if you ask him to do something he doesn’t want to do… like clean his room, fold his laundry, or sit still at the dinner table. Well, good luck!

I’ll literally watch him physically get pulled all over the house in all different directions. I don’t even want to know how many times I’ve asked him to stay in his seat per meal. I started playing card games with him at the dinner table to keep him sitting at the table. It’s worked amazingly well.

He is still the slowest eater you ever met but I don’t have to tell him to sit back down 10,000 times during dinner. 

Now fast forward to 4th grade.

 I’d been discussing Alex with his 4th-grade teacher and different behavioral strategies we could implement to help him succeed.

It was November 2022 and I got an email from his teacher on our way up to spend the weekend in Glenwood Springs saying that Alex had refused to take his math test that day. She said he knew the material but refused to take it. He told her “He didn’t feel like himself that day. 

And for whatever reason at that moment, I knew he had ADHD. I spent the entire 3 ½ hour-long car ride stressing about this email, and what it meant, and how to get him the help he needed.

After a bunch of doctor’s appointments and 1 short appointment with a social worker/psychologist, she diagnosed him with ADHD and prescribed Adderall.

To be diagnosed, his dad, myself, and his teacher filled out a behavior sign and symptom sheet. The social worker diagnosed him based on the signs and symptoms of ADHD questionnaires we filled out.

All his grades went up an entire grade within the next few months. He started doing much better in class and he told me he felt like he was able to pay attention better in school.

Do we still have those nights where homework takes hours once in a while and we both want to cry? Yes, we do.

Have I researched, read books, and taken executive function courses as a speech therapist to help him? Yes, I have. But I still am looking for more answers on how to best help him as school gets harder and harder.

At home, we still struggle with eating enough calories, following directions, sequencing tasks, inhibiting, initiating a task, etc.

So, what does ADHD stand for?

ADHD stands for attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder. ADHD is among the most common neurobehavioral disorders in children and teens. ADHD presents in the population at over 5%. 

Physicians, psychologists, and social workers diagnose ADHD. Medical providers diagnose ADHD based on behavioral symptoms from observation and informant reports. Informant reports can be from a parent, guardian, or teacher.

ADHD can co-occur with other developmental and mental disorders. These include learning disorders (reading disorders, math disorders, autism, Tourette’s disorder, obsessive-compulsive disorder, developmental coordination disorder, and depression and anxiety disorders.

ADHD can increase the risk of substance abuse disorders, problematic media use, obesity, dysregulated eating, sleep disorders, migraines, and epilepsy.

Three subtypes of ADHD

There are 3 subtypes of ADHD:

·      Inattentive. Most of the symptoms fall under inattention.

·      Hyperactive/Impulsive. Most of the symptoms fall under hyperactive and impulsive.

·      Combined. A mix of both inattentive symptoms and hyperactive/impulsive symptoms.

No doctor has told me which subtype he’s diagnosed with but based on his symptoms he has combined inattentive and hyperactive/impulsive. 

My son has the following symptoms that fall under the inattention type ADHD category. He makes careless mistakes on classwork and homework. He struggles to stay focused on tasks and during play.

Sometimes he appears not to hear me when I talk to him. He has a hard time following through on instructions, especially multiple steps. We’ve created morning and evening routines for years but he still struggles to follow them even with visual cues.

Alex continues to struggle to finish homework or chores without oversight. His room is always a mess which is partly my fault since I buy him too much stuff.

Alex loses toys, phone chargers, and his phone all the time. He misplaces or loses his homework regularly. He is super distractible.

 If someone is not overseeing him he will forget to brush his teeth and do his inhaler in the mornings. Even with a visual morning routine reminder sheet.  

Now, under the impulsive/hyperactive type of ADHD Alex also has symptoms. He is constantly moving. While playing video games we have him jump on the trampoline.  

He can never sit still for long periods. We even had a doctor recommend he play video games more to help him sit still for longer and burn fewer calories.

Alex is always busy. Always moving around. When he was younger he would always be climbing on something wherever we happened to be.

He would bolt out of the car when he was younger too straight into the parking lot. I always had to wear running shoes to make sure I could catch him quickly.

 Alex will blurt out answers to questions and interrupt you when he is talking. But he doesn’t like it when you interrupt him when he’s talking. Even if he’s repeating himself and already knows what your answer will be.

Alex will jump into other people’s conversations and games. He will give away secrets if he knows them. If he sees a TV show or movie before you he will give away the plot. It’s like he can’t help himself. He has no inhibition.

To review a comprehensive list of symptoms in both categories check out the Mayo Clinic’s website here.

It took me a long time to realize that my son might have ADHD.

I found it very hard to admit. I knew he had a hard time following directions, getting his chores done, and getting out the door to school on time but I thought it was typically developing behavior. Even though it was happening every day and teachers were trying to nudge me in the direction of ADHD. I didn’t want to see it.

If you feel the same check out this resource on diagnoses and treatment for additional help.

Once I had the realization he likely did have ADHD I did everything I could to help him be more successful in everyday life. I’ve noticed his ADHD medication significantly helps him in school and at home. Challenges remain but I will never stop looking for more ways to help my son.

ADHD is a common condition in children and teens. It can continue into adulthood. There are many strategies and different solutions to working with ADHD. If you think your child has ADHD, talk to a social worker, psychologist, or doctor. Check out Mayo Clinic’s website for more information on ADHD.

Follow along as I show you evidence-based tips that are easy to implement in your daily lives to help your kiddo who has ADHD thrive. And help you as a parent succeed.

“Did you know?” People with ADHD struggle to start tasks that they don’t enjoy. However, if it’s a task they love to do, they can stay focused for hours.